Effects of Federal Funding to States

Effects of Federal Funding to States Federal Funding to the States and Local Governments: Effect on the United States Taylor, Public Finance Abstract When researching I focused mainly on the different ways federal funding affected the government as a whole. I looked at how it affected governments on the national, state, and local levels. Then I established my research question is federal funding good for the United States? While researching this I found out there are two main sides to federal funding, the advocates and the critics, and that each has its own valid points and reasons for supporting or not supporting this idea. I found the current national debt, several court cases involving the US government infringing upon the rights of its citizens, and the four different types of grants the federal government uses in its giving of money and resources. Based upon the information I gathered conducting my research it is clear that federal funding from the national government to the states and local governments can be detrimental to the health of this country. Keywords: federal funds, grants, national debt Federal Funding to State and Local Governments Federal Funding in the US A new trend has been developing in the modern government recently. Federal funding to state programs and governments has been steadily increasing over the past years. According to Elmendorf (2013) health grants to the states and local governments have increased from around 50 billion dollars in 1980 to about 300 billion dollars in the year 2010. This occurrence is becoming more and more common as state governments seek more and more federal money. These â€Å"free† recourses come in four different forms; categorical grants, block grants, formula grants, project grants according to Ferguson (2013). Categorical grants are grants that only allow funding to be used for specific, narrowly defined purposes. Block grants allow much more freedom in assigning the funds and are widely sought after. Formula grants are allocated based upon a set of pre-existing criteria and often serve a select group of people. Project grants fund specific projects or the delivery of specific services. Th ese four types of grants make up the majority of federal funding. These grants may provide essential funding for state and local governments, but they come with many critics who question the repercussions of national government funding and the states reliance on these funds. In Support of more Federal Funding In times of crisis, a common theme comes to light; autocratic rule. For instance, in ancient times, whenever the city of Rome was threatened or being besieged, their Senate would elect one person to rule above them and lead city’s government and defenses. They did this because although the people would lose their voice in the government, the benefits outweighed these side effects. When one person is in charge, orders are given and decided upon much more quickly than when given by a group of people. The same concept goes hand in hand with a powerful National Government. One powerful governing body can control and be more efficient than fifty different independent state governing bodies with one slightly larger national government. It is simple mathematics. If I tell someone to go get me vanilla ice cream it takes all of ten seconds for me to convey this order and for them to get in their car. However, if I am in a room filled with ten people we then have to discuss and debate o ver several different issues before we can ever decide on one specific path. We have to figure out what type of ice cream we want, who is driving, and where we should get the ice cream; and these are just a few of the many choices we must make. This could take ten minutes opposed to the ten seconds. The difference in time could prove costly to a president when he must make a quick and decisive decision. Grants and loans are similar in the aspect that they both receive money from outside sources to increase funding for a project or issue. However, the similarities stop there and the main attraction to grants arise. One who receives a grant does not normally have to be repay the money received (â€Å"Repay a Grant Overpayment,† 2014). This allows state and local governments to not only receive free resources from the federal government, but to also redistribute the resources that were just saved to other issues. This greatly helps the state or local government because now two different issues or organizations are funded opposed to just one. In Favor of Less Government Funding When this country was founded our forefathers feared â€Å"big government.† Big government is the idea of the federal government being too powerful and, due to this, unfairly ruling and controlling its people. To ensure this didn’t happen our Founding Fathers took great lengths to limit the power of the national government. They created state and local governments, and also granted them powers that the national government is unable to infringe upon. They even set specific limitations to the power of the federal government in the 10th Amendment of the Bill of Rights which states â€Å"The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people† (Tenth Amendment, 2014). This means that any powers not specifically given to the federal governments are automatically reserved for the states or to the people. All of this was done to ensure that the national government ca nnot become too powerful and override or control the states. However, as state and local governments receive increasing amounts of federal funding they begin to rely on the federal government more and more. As their reliance upon federal money increases so too does their dependence on the federal government. This inadvertently gives the national government more and more power while taking away the states power. As the national government gains influence the states slowly lose the ability to keep an eye on the national government and perform their function as a watchdog. There are several instances in United States history when the federal government tried to overstep its bounds and invade state or personal rights. One such instance is represented in the court case Windsor v. United States. In this court case the United States Government infringed upon our personal rights and tried to discriminate against married lesbian and gay couples for the purposes of determining federal benefits and protections. Thankfully the U.S. Supreme Court ruled against the federal government and decided that section three of the â€Å"Defense of Marriage Act† was unconstitutional (Windsor v. United States, 2012). This court case is one of many where the government had to be â€Å"reined in† after infringing upon our constitutional rights. Unfortunately, not all instances of encroachment by the federal government was righted by the Supreme Court. One such instance is the court case United States v. Bhagat Singh Thind. Due to the actions and decisions of the United States Government the doors of U.S. citizenship would close to all Asian immigrants for the next 23 years after it was decided that South Asians would not be able to be considered citizens from 1923 to 1946 (United States v. Bhagat Singh Thind, 2013) A major concern for the United States economy is our growing national debt. As the years progress the U.S. owes other countries more and more money as we are forced to borrow money from them to keep from defaulting on our payments and keep our country running. The U.S. debt is currently around 18 trillion and is expected to be around 18.7 trillion by the end of the fiscal year of 2015. This is roughly three times higher than the national debt in the year 2000 (Total US Government Debt in 2015, 2014). At this rate our country will be in so much debt in the near future that the damage will be irreparable. Also, all it would take to send the government spiraling down would be one these foreign countries to call in on our debt. The government currently does not have the money to repay these debts, therefore America would be forced to default on these payments. To help prevent this from happening a state government could simply refuse to accept as much money from the national government. This would give the Federal Government more resources to pay its debt and take care of its own spending issues. Assessment of the Arguments Federal funding is a major aspect of our government. It helps support many different programs and projects in our state and local governments. In recent years this funding has steadily increased as state and local governments require more and more resources to run and operate. This increase in funding has its fair share of advocates and critics, however. The advocates point out that as the federal government provides more and more money to the states that the power of the national government increases. As the power of the national government increases the more effective the governing ability of the national government becomes. This concept can be explained using a concept called martial law. According to (Martial Law, 2014) martial law is when a military takes over a town or city due to the lack of ability of the residing government to perform its job. A common reason this is enacted is anarchy or revolts in the town. A to military is able to succeed when a government could not becau se a military can work and execute its actions much more efficiently than a government can. This is due to how the presiding officer can issue and execute an order as soon as they think of it instead of having to discuss and negotiate the issue with several other groups like a government would. Another valid belief of the advocates is the fact that when a state or local government receives grants from the national government then their resources have significantly increased. Now the local or state government has the funds it needs for one project in addition to the funds it has in the first place. Now two projects have been funded. Simply put, more federal funding means a more powerful and efficient government as well as more money for the state and local governments. Wherever, you find advocates of something you are sure to find critics as well. It is no different in the case of federal funding. While the supporters speak of a powerful government and more money for local and state governments, the critics make very different but equally valid points. They point out that our founding fathers feared â€Å"big government† and took many steps to ensure that the national government could not become too powerful for its citizens and infringe upon their rights. This is a strong possibility as the government becomes more powerful and is evident in several different court cases like Windsor v. United States and Bhagat Singh Thind v. United State. Another valid reason critics dislike federal funding is how the more money the national government gives to the states the less money it has for itself. With a quickly growing national debt the main concern of the government should be paying off what it owes, not giving money â€Å"that it doesn’t have† to other organizations. Conclusion and Personal Belief As I have said earlier, there are many people who believe federal funding should increase and many people who say it should not. They both bring up very strong points as well. However, no matter how efficient and well-run the federal government might become as they gain more and more power, it does not offset the possibility of the average citizen being overlooked or ruled unfairly. This was the biggest fear our founding fathers faced and they went to great lengths to ensure that our government does not become omnipotent. So why should we go against everything they stood for? Each citizen is supposed to have a say in their government and the running of it. This is the entire idea of a democracy. Once people start losing this power or this power begins to be overlooked, then we will no longer have a democracy. In addition to this issue, we have a looming national debt that is quickly growing each year. Yes, it is nice for our state and local governments to have a little bit more money to spend on its residents, but should not we be more concerned with keeping our government from having to owe trillions of dollars to foreign governments like China? I personally would much rather go without the new state park than constantly worry about the day that a foreign country demands we pay them back all we owe plus interest. Federal funds may have their pluses and attractions, but they are not worth risking our rights as civilians and the economy of our country for them. References Chantrill, C. (2014, July 1). Debt Clock. Retrieved November 16, 2014, from  http://www.usgovernmentdebt.us/ DeHaven, T. (2013, June 25). How Much Does Your State Government Depend on Federal Funds. Retrieved November 1, 2014, from  http://townhall.com/columnists/taddehaven/2013/06/25/how-much-does-your-state-government-depend-on-federal-funds-n1626882 Edwards, C. (2013, June 7). Fiscal Federalism. Retrieved October 15, 2014, from  http://www.downsizinggovernment.org/fiscal-federalism Elmendorf, D. (2013). Federal Grants to Local and State Governments.  Congress of the United States, Congressional Budget Office,  1-28. Retrieved November 1, 2014, from  http://www.cbo.gov/sites/default/files/43967_FederalGrants.pdf Four Main Types of Grant Funding. (2013, April 14). Retrieved November 15, 2014, from  http://www.federalfunding.net/grants_types.htm Martial Law. (2014, February 6). Retrieved November 1, 2014, from  http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/martial  law Mulhausen, D., Tyrell, P. (2013, September 11). Retrieved October 15, 2014, from  http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2013/11/the-2013-index-of-dependence-on-government Repay a Grant Overpayment. (2012, May 27). Retrieved November 15, 2014, from  https://www.myeddebt.com/borrower/myoptions_repayGrants.action Tenth Amendment. (2014, January 9). Retrieved November 14, 2014, from  http://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/tenth_amendment U.S. v Bhagat Signh Thind. (2008, November 2). Retrieved November 15, 2014, from  http://www.bhagatsinghthind.com/court.php Windsor v. United States: Edie Windsor Challenges DOMA Decided. (2009, April 18). Retrieved November 14, 2014, from  https://www.aclu.org/lgbt-rights/windsor-v-united-states-thea-edie-doma

International Relations-Somalia

Somalia 1993 Cause and Effect, U. S. Involvement, & Scale of the Conflict The Somali conflict was created by a succession of events. Back in 1991, President of Somalia, Mohammed Siad Barre, was overthrown by a coalition of opposing clans called the United Somali Congress. Four main groups turned the country into a battlefield trying to gain control over the country. In the meantime a 5th group seceded from the northwest portion of Somalia calling it the Somaliland Republic, with its leader Abdel-Rahman Ahmed Ali as president.All the fighting in Somalia destroyed most of their crops creating mass starvation. The international community began to send food supplies to halt the starvation, but vast amounts of food were hijacked and brought to local clan leaders, who routinely exchanged it with other countries for weapons. This just led to more starvation and the international communities’ efforts seemed ineffective. In March of 1993 the UN’s mission shifted and tried to hel p UNOSOM II gain power. UNOSOM II tried to reconcile the country and build a democratic state creating a secure environment.This organization was met with heavy opposition led by Mohammed Farrah Aidid and his faction. Several bombing occurred and soon war was inevitable. On October 3, 1993 the US led an operation intending to capture Aidid's foreign minister Omar Salad Elmi and his top political advisor, Mohamed Hassan Awale. This battle is commonly known as Black Hawk Down where two Black Hawk helicopters were shot down and many US lives were lost. That day was a true battle; 1500 somalian militia men were estimated to have been killed.On October 6, 1993 President Bill Clinton directed the Acting Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral David E. Jeremiah, to stop all actions by U. S. forces against Aidid except those required in self-defense. The White House stated that all U. S. troops would be completely out of Somalia by March 31, 1994. Impact of the Soviet Union Collapse During the Cold War, Somalia was used as a pawn by world superpowers, since whoever had control of Somalia had access to oil due to its location in Western Africa.After the Soviet Union collapsed, the U. S. had no interest in Somalia, resulting in U. S. support and foreign aid leaving the country. Somalia was left in a vulnerable state and was unable to create a stable political system. Somalia eventually collapsed due to a lack of infrastructure. Works Sited â€Å"Battle of Mogadishu (1993). †Ã‚  Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, 16 Sept. 2012. Web. 16 Sept. 2012. ;http://en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Battle_of_Mogadishu_(1993);.

99 Supermarket

1. 0Introduction Convenience store (or known as mini-markets) according to Cambridge Business English Dictionary is a store that sell foods and sometime other goods but the size is typically below supermarket. 99 Speedmart is convenience store that based in Malaysia and they have over 300 outlets around Klang Valley. Three distribution centers have been set up to smooth their logistics and the latest distribution is located at Balakong Jaya. However, 99 Speedmart is not a solo-player in retailing market.Connivance stores chains like 7-11 Malaysia, KK Mart and Hypermarket chains like Tesco, Aeon, Giant and Aeon BIG (formerly known as Carrefour). Carrefour has reported in March 2011 that its profit has been dropped by 14. 3 percent to 371 million euros ($463 million). Carrefour recently had quitted in some Asia country such as Thailand in the year of 2010, Singapore and Malaysia in the year of 2012. Action taken by Carrefour recently can be a sign that they does not do well in their op eration in the market mention above. Out of the three, Carrefour Malaysia seems to be the worst.This is a good example that 99 Speedmart has to take extreme careful steps before expanding their business nationwide. 1. 1Objectives * Expanding the Service around Peninsular Malaysia before the year of 2020 * Redesign the Organizational Structure to smooth the administration work * Ensure the Supply Chain is able to cope with the expansion while maintaining â€Å"Near ‘n Save† slogan 2. 099 Speedmart Current Operations Different with 7-11 Malaysia, 99 Speedmart has started to taken back all franchise license issue by phase as the franchisee do not getting the profit as they expected in the year of 2004.Recently, they have started to issue limited franchise licences for selected entrepreneurs. 2. 0. 1Relationship with Suppliers In order to comply with the slogan â€Å"Near n Save†, a lot of effort has been made by Mr Lee Thiam Wah. The first step he has taken is to on ly carry limited product and only high turnover product will be sold in the store and they do not focus much on sales margin. Furthermore, Mr Lee has made the process of ordering and payment easy for suppliers and it will be done within 30 minutes.The payment will be cleared every time if the next order has been place to supplier to get better discount. 2. 0. 2Distribution Centre 99 Speedmart has been setting up 3 distribution centre (figure 1) for smoothing their logistics process in short time frame from the year of 2002 to 2011. There are located at Jalan Meru, Jalan Kebun and Balakong Jaya. The first two is at Klang area while another one is at Seri Kembangan Area which is much more nearer to Kuala Lumpur City Center thus North South Highway. Figure 1 2. 0. 3Stock ReplenishThe distribution centres will be taking batch order from manufacturers or distributors. The ordered stocks will be shipped to distribution centre for further allocation to all outlet based on the report genera ted. Based on the info getting from my local 99 Speedmart store located Kepong Area, they will replenish the stock 3 times a week for both Kepong Store and 4 times for Sri Sinar Store as their sales is higher. Normally Both Kepong store will be sharing one lorry to have their stock delivered on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday morning directly from distribution center.As for damage product and expired, the rules and regulation is being set to a store can only return a limited box to headquarters. Besides weekly replenish, some of their stock is replenish by third party or directly from supplier. These items are mostly refrigerated goods such as Ramly’s frozen product, Atlas ice cubes, Gardenia Bread and many more. They will take responsible to taking care of their product such as collecting expired and damage goods. The 99 Speedmart currently deploying computer assisted ordering system.A computer assisted ordering system will normally using together with the point of sales syst em, whenever an item is sold, it will be updating the central server in headquarters for compiling into a sheet if the stock down to certain level for re-order. The same process applies to their distribution centres too. 3. 0Expansion of Service 99 Speedmart is a retail service that provides product from groceries to personal care products such as hand soap. It is very important to ensure the end consumer gets what they need when they enters the shop.Currently, 99 Speedmart have around 3000 items (or Stock Keeping Unit) sold and it is not easy to manage it properly. 3. 1Logistics & Geographical Location 99 Speedmart recently have started back their franchise program to limited entrepreneurs and stated expanding beyond Klang Valley. The decision is not made in a hurry but slowly with plans. This can be seen from the newest distribution centre being set at Balakong Jaya which is near the North South highway. It takes about approximately 1 hour to reach Seremban, which is non Klang Val ley shop located.Currently there are 11 stores at that particular area as of 29 November 2012. It is recommended to take the expansion plan in phases instead of covering the service in whole Peninsular Malaysia at a time. The recommended expansion schedule can be as stated on table 1. The priority has been consider the geographical location and the also density of population as well. With proper planning of distribution centres, this will gradually reduce the lead time to supply enough stocks to the end outlet. Phase| Location| 1| Negeri Sembilan & Melaka| 2| Perak & Johor| 3 | Pulau Pinang| | Kedah & Perlis| 5| Pahang| 6| Kelantan| 7| Terengganu| Table [ 1 ] Negeri Sembilan and Melaka is suggested as their destination of expansion for reason that both the state have a close distance to Klang Valley’s distribution centres where even for Melaka , it will not take more than 2 hour to reach from Balakong Jaya distribution centre due to the infrastructure, the expressway is good for both the states (Figure 2). Figure [ 2 ] (Google, no date) Beside the distance of distribution centres, the density of the state’s population also is an added advantage.According to data obtain from Department of Statistical Malaysia (figure 3), both the state have a high density of population compare to Pahang state thus the area fairly smaller compare to Perak. This will let them to set up only a few distribution centre but high in efficiency in terms of centralize item delivery. When the market is mature enough and enough distribution centres is being set near the near target market, they can start proceed to the next phase. Figure [ 3 ] 3. 2Customer Service A business organization main objective is to get profit and a good customer service will ensure customer stay loyal.Based on both Laura and Johson’s (2003) research, the supply chain trend has been moving from supply focus to demand focus but currently 99 Speedmart still does not apply this yet. They will ju st distribute the stock without really over looking into what is the real demand of the particular’s shops demand. As a result, the store room is pack of stocks that does not really sells but some of the items are quickly sold off within few days without any more new stock coming in because of the lead time between the orders being placed.The main reason lies to their computer assisted ordering system’s nature where minimum stock level system being use. Orders will only be place when it reaches certain limit without actually overlook how long it takes to make their stock reach that level. A same item might be taking just few days to reach minimum stock level in one outlet but a few weeks for another outlet as each of the area will have a different buying behaviour that affected by factors such as religion and cultures. 3. 2. 1Computer System SupportInstead of just using only the lowest stock level method, they should also take initiatives to do research on the data sti pulated from time to time. They will have meeting every week on reviewing their sales done. Thus they should also implement a system where cashiers will key in the customer’s estimated age and gender before proceeding to payment flow and headquarters will study the data being sent. A SKU will be eliminate after a continuous weeks of low turnover (Lee, 2001). This is how and why 7-11 Japan is expanding fast and understands the customer demand well.The benefits they can obtain thru this are minimize their space to store stock and also provide the right product to the community. Furthermore the data being collected also useful to do future prediction especially festive seasons on providing enough stocks to full fill demand. This will also gradually minimize the effect of lead time and bullwhip that impacts their operation. 3. 3Warehousing Warehousing is always an important part of supply chain management and a poor warehousing efficiency will cause delay on delivery, damage good s and many unexpected issues. 9 Speedmart is using a paper based checklist when trying to assign all the stocks to destination outlet. This actually is a big issues as 99 Speedmart is currently is expanding fast in Klang Valley and also some experimental outlet outside of Klang Valley. In order to speeding up the process, voice directed picking system is suggested to be apply. A voice directed picking system where computer will give instruction thru headset and workers can make voice command to retrieve the next information.The main benefit is that the workers will have both hands to do their work and maximize the efficiency of distributing the stocks. According to the speaker from Lein Hing Group, currently 7-11 Malaysia has been adopted this technology thus increase the efficiency up to 30% for their speed of assigning goods to designated outlet thus lower down the lead time. 3. 4Supply Chain Figure [ 4 ] : Current Supply Chain Model As stated as section 2. 0, 99 Speedmart outlets are getting stock supplies from distribution centres and some is directly from manufacturer (figure 4).When the operation is expanding, the need to reconsider on how to optimize the supply chain structure as each state it might be having different supplier for same product brand. Figure [ 5 ] : Suggested Supply Chain Model Since some of the item is low in turnover, they have buy in a large batch order to get better discounts from manufacturer or suppliers. So I suggest that they should set a central distribution centres or such items where the item will be delivered in a milk run method from area distribution centre to another area distribution centre.They can either outsource the delivery to third party logistics companies such as Tiong Nam or set up a special team for this if the scale is big as the concern is how to use minimum cost to send the end goods to the outlet. When the service is expanding nationwide, they have to coordinate with suppliers in order to get the nearest so urce on getting their good supplies. Big consumer brand normally will have an area distributor for each area so 99 Speedmart can make full use on nearer source to obtain least cost of transporting goods. Furthermore, they can take 7-11 Japan operation model for reference on building a new logistics systems.This is a very success model where 7-11’s competitors such as Lawson, Family Mart are also emulated their way of operation. Both suppliers and 99 Speedmart can set up a joint service whether items that can be delivering together will be cross docked in same warehouse. The driver is expected to do a milk run to area assigned to them to do daily replenish stocks. 3. 5Organizational Structures When an organization is growing bigger, a good management team must be there to coordinate the business well. Without a good management, they will be facing issues such as delay in order, late payment and others.As referring to figure 6, we can notice that 99 Speedmart is having a flat s tructure to speeding up the decision process. Generally is the current structure is already good enough but some position must be added to meet their objectives of expanding their business as showed on figure 7. Malaysia is a multi cultures society and each part of the area will have different demand for the product they need. In order to understand what they need for each part of the area, the branch operation can further divide their department based as stated on figure 7.Section| State| North Malaysia| Perlis, Kedah, Pulau Pinang & Perak| Central Malaysia| Selangor, Kuala Lumpur & Negeri Sembilan| South Malaysia| Melaka & Johor| East Coast| Kelantan, Terengganu & Pahang| Table [ 2 ] Figure [ 6 ] : Current Organization Chart Figure [ 7 ] : Changes for Cope with Service Expansion 4. 0Conclusion The area of caution has been stated in section 3 start from geographical location to organizational chart and some suggestion has been given to how to overcome the possible issues they might face throughout the expanding rocess. I am quite sure 99 Speedmart will be very successful and to cover up the Peninsular Malaysia before the year of 2020 if they are able to implement the all the suggestion above. Thus the bad economy that happens recently also will impact how they use their money. People to tends to compare the item price between retailers to save their money and in this case 99 Speedmart is very competitive as they are offering their product low in price thus near to residential area. I am expecting they will set up 25~50 new stores in the year of 2013.

Funny Engineering Jokes for Engineers

Its possible you might have to be an engineer to truly appreciate engineering jokes and humor, but if you get the jokes, they are certainly funny! Lazy Engineers Engineering is all about laziness in the name of a better life. Ill-Advised A fire engineer, who could not speak Arabic, was finding it difficult to market his newly invented fire extinguisher in the Arabian continent. He consulted an expert who advised him to use photographic symbols. Now he proceeded with a three-stage demonstration photographs, namely (1) a car on fire, (2) a man fighting the fire with the device, then (3) a clean car. Meanwhile, the Arabs read from right to the left, so they avoided the device completely. Advances and Details A young damsel was asked why she would not marry either of her engineer or lawyer boyfriends. She replied the engineers make advances and add no detail, the lawyers argue details and make no advance. Engineering Joke An engineer is someone who uses a slide rule to multiply two by two; gets an answer of 3.99 and calls it 4 to the nearest significant figure. Light Bulbs How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They wouldnt do it. Its a hardware problem. Chemical Engineer Vs. Chemist Whats the difference between a chemical engineer and a chemist? Answer: about $50k a year Chemical Engineer and Chemist Whats the difference between a chemical engineer and a chemist? A chemical engineer does for profit what a chemist does for fun. Wife or Mistress? An architect, artist, and engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with their wives or mistresses. The architect said, I like spending time with my wife building a firm foundation of a marriage. The artist said, I enjoy the time I spend with my mistress because of all the passion and energy. The engineer said I enjoy both. If you have a wife and a mistress, both women think you are with the other so you can go to work get more done MechE and CivE The Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers post below can add Chemical Engineers as engineers that build targets that explode really well. The Physicist A physicist was sitting in his room alone and realized that he felt depressed. So he went to a psychologist to see if the psychologist could help him feel better again. After a little bit of introduction and talking about the physicists life, the psychologist looks at his notes and tells the physicist, Well, I think I know what brings you down the most.† Well, what is it? asked the physicist.† Gravity. Definition of an Engineer What is the definition of an engineer? Answer: Someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had, in a way you dont understand. It Takes One to Know One Engineer and Mathematician (males) were given the opportunity to compete for a very attractive woman. But there was one condition: You can only run half the remaining distance between you and the lady. Eng. sprinted forward while Math. didnt. Why arent you running? Asked members of the Committee. Because, by definition, I will never be allowed to reach my target. And you Eng. why are you running? Dont you know the same? Yes, said Eng. my learned friend is correct. But I will get close enough for all practical purposes.